


Though Every Thread Is Torn

by oinops



Series: To the End of Love [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gem Fusion, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 01:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oinops/pseuds/oinops
Summary: Thousands of years after her first visit, Earth was still the strangest planet she had ever seen.





	Though Every Thread Is Torn

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not over them yet so have this, your run-of-the-mill diamonds visiting earth fic. Disclaimer: I have no idea how to waltz and neither do they.
> 
> The title and quote are from the song 'Dance me to the end of love' by Leonard Cohen. The fic isn't specifically inspired by it, but I thought it was fitting.
> 
> Also happy Femslash February, I guess!
> 
> P.S. There's something I really want to address, and it has probably been debated already but I'm new so I get to complain: they have literally the worst ship name I've ever seen. Why did *that* stick. It just makes me think about them yelling 24/7 and it's terrible. I'd literally pay money for someone to come up with a better one. Rant over.

_Dance me to the children who are asking to be born,_  
_Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn._  
_Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn:_  
_Dance me to the end of love._

(Leonard Cohen) 

Thousands of years after her first visit, Earth was still the strangest planet she had ever seen.

To a distracted eye, like the one of a wanderer just passing nearby, it must have looked quite unremarkable: a modestly-sized piece of rock in a forgotten planetary system, floating away in a distant galaxy rarely ever visited. Inhospitable, too, she would have thought: its surface mostly covered by saltwater, its core still bubbling with lava, its ground not quite done settling yet—all of that, from her point of view, should have made it rather hard for organic life to take root. What made it special to her eyes, though, and amazed her most of all, was probably its _weather_.

She was no stranger to acidic rains, to sandstorms, to the century-lasting cyclonic vortexes on distant colonies—but here was _different_. Scorching sun would burn a patch of grass, only for a soft drizzle to nurse it back to life hours after. That same drizzle would then turn into a downpour, scatter branches from trees and cover paths in mud, and be chased away by gentle sunlight once again. It was ever-changing, and quick, so very quick it made her head spin: how nothing was ever set, how warmth would always fade and leaves always be blown away by howling winds—how ice would settle every time, without fail, and cover it all in the silent embrace of death.

How death, she had soon learned, was nothing but a signifier for new beginnings.

Days would turn longer, and tender sprouts peer out from under the snow soon enough. Flowers would bloom from inside carcasses, turn their corollas upwards to meet the caress of the sun; small snakes would hide in wheat fields, butterflies climb inside red poppies, a gentle breeze sway the branches of trees bending over a river.

_She had found those quite interesting. "We call them weeping willows," Steven had explained. Standing by her side, Yellow had tried to hide an amused smile._

Every little, fragile creature on that planet seemed to be endowed with an irrepressible desire to survive: they clung to life with all the strength they could muster, knowing full well they could fail—that they eventually would, and it would happen soon enough. Yet Earth always fought, always resisted, always bounced back.

It had resisted _them_ , twice. It was the only planet that had been able to, and she supposed that alone was rather commendable.

Her and Yellow had landed on their ships near Steven's house a little more than three months prior, and they'd been there ever since. Reconnecting, they had decided, was the first step in trying to make amends, if such a thing was even possible at that point. Incredibly so, he had been kind enough to give them the chance—elated, even, to show them around and explain every little peculiarity of that strange, strange place he called home. They were supposed to be heading back to Homeworld after a week, but both had somehow found themselves unable to leave. She supposed that, deep down, there was a reason: nobody ever said that implementing major government reforms was an easy thing to do. Mostly because nobody had ever talked about implementing major government reforms before then, really: that, too, like many other things, was completely new. Their whole universe had come crumbling down before their eyes, in a way—all in the span of a few days.

Even deeper down, it felt somewhat liberating.

The two of them were alone now, sitting on the ground side by side, on top of a desolated hill not far out Beach City. It was late May, and a warm breeze filled the air with the rich scent of blooming flowers. The sea was well visible even from there, reflecting the colors of the sky above, glimmering pink and orange and gold. Steven had been quite eager to ensure they made time to admire many Earth sunsets during their stay, insisting they were one of the planet's most stunning features; always so enthusiastic, that one—always able to lift everyone's spirits, somehow. It was surreal, sometimes, how strongly he resembled her, the one he called his _mom_.

The one she had loved most dearly, albeit in all the wrong ways.

Her eyes began to sting, in a feeling long familiar. She tried to push it away immediately— _no more, not again_ —but a single tear managed to escape and stain her cheek. It was enough: Yellow sighed faintly, and immediately turned to her.

"Something the matter, now?" she asked, wiping her own eye with the back of her hand. Her tone was strange, of vague frustration and legitimate concern at once. Blue shook her head reassuringly and gave her a sad smile—then, without really thinking, she blurted out a question that had been pressing at the back of her mind for a while.

"Do you think she would have forgiven us?"

Yellow stiffened, her gaze turned downwards and unfocused. She let out another sigh—one that denoted deep thought, this time.

"I think _he_ did, and that's more than we could have ever asked for," she settled on saying, the conclusions her words implied hanging heavy in the air between them. But her voice was soft, her eyes tried to be reassuring: she was right, Blue thought.

As she, somehow, always was.

She kept looking at her, then—unable, for some reason, to tear her gaze away. The diamond was holding one of her knees to her chest, as if to steady herself, and seemed pensive. She showed all of her years, in that moment—and yet, in a way, looked unbearably young at the same time. At that sight, Blue's chest was filled by an arcane sensation, one of deepest longing. What for, she didn't quite understand yet.

What she knew, now, is that she wanted and needed to cheer her up more than anything. Again, just like moments before, she acted on impulse.

"Dance with me," she proposed, rising to her feet and extending her hand in invitation. Yellow snapped out of her trance and looked at her with wide eyes, her somber expression turning to amused confusion.

"I... What? Why?" she stumbled, half-smiling and taken aback.

"Because I think it would be nice," Blue replied, eyes steady on the other, voice tender but firm. Yellow hesitated for a moment, but soon gave in and let the fellow diamond help her to her feet. She had always been so prone to indulge her, after all—sometimes, the indigo gem wondered why.

They were standing face to face, now. The alien matriarch didn't like to admit it, but she really had no idea where to begin—there was no music, for one. And, maybe most importantly, neither of them had ever done anything of the sort before. It had been deemed inappropriate, for someone of their status.

So many things had.

Blue supposed it was on her to take the first step, being the one that came up with the idea in the first place. She went through memories of the many galas she had attended thousands of years before, and tried to remember protocols and rituals—how their then-subjects went about it. There was one specific type of dance, among the ones she recalled, that she felt more confident in trying.

Her right hand gently settled on the other's shoulder—in response, Yellow's left arm came circling around her waist. The touch was feather-light, and if she hadn't known her companion so well, she could have sworn there was a hint of shyness in it. It felt unbelievably warm, too, like that arm was always meant to be resting on her.

Their two free hands linked. Yellow took a step forward, and off they went.

It was hard, way harder than it looked. They started off slowly—Blue kept stumbling in her long skirt, and they both often ended up stepping on each other's feet. That was good for breaking the ice, if nothing else: soon they were both laughing heartily, gaining momentum as they became more confident in their movements. In a bout of uncharacteristic enthusiasm, Yellow seized Blue's midsection in a hug to lift her up. She made a rather undignified noise of surprise, and soon started laughing again as the gold-tinted gem began to spin her around.

"Yellow, please, give me a break!" she exclaimed after a while, now wheezing. The other diamond brought her down: she had stopped laughing, now, and was panting as well. They stared into each other's eyes for a few long moments—the sun had set, and a full moon was beginning to rise on the horizon: Yellow's face was bathed in silver, her expression hard to make out. Her hands were still resting on Blue's hips, like they'd been glued there, and she could feel the weight of every finger—burning through layers of cloth. Inexplicably so.

The hands moved up, coming to rest on her back. She had to repress a shiver.

"Not so terrible, was it now?" she commented, just to break the odd silence. Her own voice felt foreign. Yellow furrowed her brow in confusion.

"The dancing, I mean."

"Oh... that."

It was all the other managed to reply. She looked moonstruck, up in the clouds, like she was on another planet. Blue had never seen her like that, not in billions of years—it made her feel strange, too, like her heart was about to fly out her chest. The golden gem's hand moved again, coming to rest on her cheek.

A gloved thumb grazed her lips, tentatively. Blue felt herself unfurl, opening up like those blooming roses that spread their scent all around them. She leaned into the touch, unable resist it—a small plant bending towards the light. Her lips pursed on the finger. Yellow was positively trembling.

Yet another impulse overtook her, then, coming from a place deep inside her that she had never cared to explore—that she had never dared too. It was an Earth gesture, one that she had so often seen humans make during her stay. One that she had seen many of those crystal gems indulge in as well.

Her arms flew around Yellow's neck, and she closed the distance between their mouths.

It felt strange, so very strange, and exhilarating. Both of them were dead still, at first, but it didn't take long for the kiss to deepen. Blue's hands trailed from the other's nape to her back, cradling the gem as she bent over her slightly. At that, Yellow dug her hands into her shoulders and let out the smallest possible whimper. Blue felt her entire face heat up.

They broke apart after what felt like centuries, foreheads resting together, hands still firmly on the other. It just took that one instant, and a bright flash enveloped them.

—

_The wound would heal, eventually—much later, after long travels and big changes of perspective. She'd have the chance to truly get to know those organics and their lives, and how such misery was inevitable and natural to each and every one of them. She'd learn, too, that they could understand her better than she had first thought—that she could take a lesson from them, those that had gone through what she had, who had managed to be serene again._

_That day, though, it was fresh and gaping, not even two months old. She had wallowed in the pain it gave her for weeks on end, unable to even move. Her grief was all-enveloping, spreading for miles around her, making it unbearable for any gem to be in her proximity. Any, save for one._

_Yellow came to visit every day at the same time. She'd grit her teeth and brace herself for the wave of infinite sorrow that would soon hit her, walk in to sit at the side of the veiled silhouette shaking on the ground, put her arms around her and squeeze tight. She would weep all of her tears with her until her breath evened out again—just for that short amount of time—and never say a word, unable to find any that seemed meaningful._

_That day, between hysterical bouts of crying, Blue addressed_ her _._

" _Make it go away. Please, please make it go away," she sobbed, clawing at the other's armored chest. Her face was wild, her whole body trembling._

 _"I wish I could," Yellow replied, more to herself than to her._ If only I could take it from you _, she thought._ Bear all of it in your place _._

_Not a second after those musings, it happened: a burning light that filled the room, a melding of shapes lasting the smallest moment, coming undone before it could even properly come to be. They jerked apart—Blue's aura had receded._

_"Blue, I'm—" Yellow began, still on the floor and trying to regain her composure. The other was back on her feet, tense like a spring, fear and anger now clouding her face._

_"Leave," she commanded, her voice a chilling whisper, tears still flowing from her eyes._

_Like that, Yellow's visits gradually stopped—her gestures of comfort replaced by frustrated sighs, her eagerness to support the other turning to helpless irritation._

—

She had no time to think about _that_ , now. A much more pressing matter was at hand, something that really needed to be made clear.

"I love—" she began, stopping dead in her tracks as soon as she noticed something was off. Her own voice seemed, for some reason, strangely unfamiliar. She raised her hands to her mouth in surprise—all four of them.

"What the...?" she went on, shocked, bringing her green-tinted arms in front of her eyes to observe them better. The hill she was standing on looked like a tiny slope, now: it took her but one step to get down to the beach and notice her reflection in the water. It was then that she realized.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

They came apart once again, falling on the sand below them. Yellow's eyes were frozen, her hands clasped on her mouth.

"I'm—I'm so _sorry_ ," she managed, defeated gaze turning to the ground, ‘I'll leave immediately.’ She made to get up and walk away, but Blue lunged at her and grasped her hand.

"No! I mean... you don't have to," she shouted, then immediately recoiled at her own aggressiveness.

"Please don't," she added meekly, eyes falling in turn.

"I did it again. Actually did it, too, this time," Yellow went on, still unable to look her in the face. Blue was rubbing slow circles on the back of her hand.

"Don't say it like that, I'm fairly sure it takes two for it to happen."

"But..."

"Shush."

Blue crawled up to her, laying a kiss on her cheek. The skin there was so soft, much more than she expected. "We can just... forget about it, if it'll make you feel better." It was indeed tempting, yet it looked like the easiest solution—or really, not a solution at all. They both lay down on the sand, facing each other.

"It won't," Yellow replied, suddenly reverting back to her usual curtness. Blue wanted to sigh. She rolled on her back and looked at the sky above her.

"This place is so hilariously strange," she muttered after a good while, more to herself than anything. Yellow perked up again, confused, her head resting on her hand.

"What do you mean?"

"This planet. Nothing that has ever happened here makes any sense—no rules, not a single certainty." Her tone had become one of slight amusement.

"Oh. You're right," the other diamond answered, thinking. "It feels rather terrifying," she admitted.

"It sure does."

Their lips met once again and that, too, felt rather terrifying. It didn't stop their mouths from lingering, their hands from tentatively grazing over each other's undiscovered bodies. When Blue pulled away, Yellow's cheeks were flushed: it was such a strange sight, one that would be only hers to treasure forever.

"What were you saying before?" she asked of a sudden, a mischievous grin planting on her face.

"When?" Yellow slowly came back to her senses, puzzled.

"You know, before. Back on the hill," Blue teased, grinning harder.

"Oh, then? I..." she trailed off, getting flustered, but immediately managed to recover. She slipped an arm under Blue's waist again, bringing her closer, and turned her head towards the stars. "I was just going to say that I love how the sky looks here," she explained, smiling playfully as she turned back to the other diamond. "Quite impressive, isn't it?"

Blue laughed out loud, covering her eyes with her hand. "You idiot," she mumbled fondly.

This was yet another new beginning, she supposed, as their noses brushed together and their fingers interlocked: their bodies flush against each other in a warmth that made her feel alive—truly so, for the first time, after eons of existence. It wasn't going to be easy, that she knew.

She was glad, however, to know that she wouldn't be facing it alone.

**Author's Note:**

> [beach city resident after the diamonds have caused 6.5 magnitude earthquakes by dancing around and laughing like idiots voice] will this bullshit ever end


End file.
